Post by Bobby Cairo on Aug 1, 2007 1:21:32 GMT -5
Along the shore with a six-pack of domestic beer is not a bad place to be. It's better than being a fly caught in the web of a ravenous spider. Secrets and ambitions mend the backdrop of one's soul. An uncharacteristic outburst causes us to take notice and ask what's wrong with that individual. When the outburst IS characteristic we tell all who will listen to lock that individual up and throw away the key. What if I am the individual? What if you are the individual? This certainly changes our perspective. Shadows and rust destroy all that we comfort and all that we hold sacred. Those who are happy are not paying attention. This mistake could save your life. Nevertheless, Cairo is nearing his debut match here in the GWC. Kevin Sensation will attempt to turn back Cairo's challenge at Assault. Kevin Sensation has expressed his desire to teach Cairo a lesson following last week's sneak attack. How does Cairo feel about all of this? Cairo and his friend Biohazard are sitting along the shore and drinking, as I alluded to earlier, but they're not just doing that. No, sir, these men are pouring their souls out to one another. Let's watch...
Bobby Cairo: I remember when I won the title. I'll never forget the feeling. It was almost orgasmic, but on a spiritual level. It was a pure narcotic, one of only two that I've ever known. The other? Maggie Gyllenhaal, barefoot and horny on a white sand beach. She stripped naked and tackled me to the ground. In that moment I was reborn.
Biohazard: Bobby, man? That never happened.
Bobby Cairo: I... I know.
Cairo begins to weep. Biohazard whips a kerchief out of his breast pocket and hands it to Cairo. Cairo blows his nose into the kerchief and hands it back to Biohazard. Biohazard politely declines.
Bobby Cairo: If I'm being honest with myself and you, Bio, I'm not a very happy man. I don't mean to burden you with my problems. Hell, you got it a lot worse than me, you're Mexican!
Cairo cackles audaciously. Biohazard is displeased. Biohazard clears his throat.
Biohazard: Yes, well, I deal with my problems by always looking at the bright side of life. I don't worry about that which I don't have, but rather I enjoy that which I do have. I come from a great family with a proud heritage. I've fulfilled my lifelong dream of wrestling professionally. Shit, I even have you to keep me entertained as I watch you wallow in your misery!
Biohazard flashes a wry smile. Cairo frowns.
Bobby Cairo: Ha-ha, very funny.
Cairo sits quietly for a moment and ponders his life.
Bobby Cairo: Bio, you're right, man. Why the hell am I sitting around, crying like some emo f*g**t? I'm Bobby motherfucking Cairo! I put people in bodybags! It's not just my job, it's my goddamn passion! I hurt people and make money doing it! Remember when I was telling you about my machine the other morning? Dynamacism and all out war, all of that stuff? I need to have that mindset all the time. It might even land me a smoking hot girlfriend with ample breasts and a keen wit! Ooh, and an Irish accent? Yeah! Dammit, now I'm getting all horny and it's not even time to masturbate!
Biohazard: Think about Kodak film, Bobby. Just think about Kodak film, man.
Cairo shakes his head up and down and gestures his hands as if he's really trying hard to focus.
Bobby Cairo: Ok, it's going down...it's going down...it's gone. Thanks, man. I needed that.
Biohazard: No problem, bro. You know I'm always here for you.
Cairo finishes off the last beer and tosses the can into the ocean current.
Bobby Cairo: Listen, we better get out of here. If the cops catch us drunk and pissing everywhere, we'll never make the show tomorrow.
Biohazard taps fists with Cairo and carries him back to their rental V-Dub. Biohazard speeds away into the night with Def Leppard blasting through the stereo.
Bobby Cairo: I remember when I won the title. I'll never forget the feeling. It was almost orgasmic, but on a spiritual level. It was a pure narcotic, one of only two that I've ever known. The other? Maggie Gyllenhaal, barefoot and horny on a white sand beach. She stripped naked and tackled me to the ground. In that moment I was reborn.
Biohazard: Bobby, man? That never happened.
Bobby Cairo: I... I know.
Cairo begins to weep. Biohazard whips a kerchief out of his breast pocket and hands it to Cairo. Cairo blows his nose into the kerchief and hands it back to Biohazard. Biohazard politely declines.
Bobby Cairo: If I'm being honest with myself and you, Bio, I'm not a very happy man. I don't mean to burden you with my problems. Hell, you got it a lot worse than me, you're Mexican!
Cairo cackles audaciously. Biohazard is displeased. Biohazard clears his throat.
Biohazard: Yes, well, I deal with my problems by always looking at the bright side of life. I don't worry about that which I don't have, but rather I enjoy that which I do have. I come from a great family with a proud heritage. I've fulfilled my lifelong dream of wrestling professionally. Shit, I even have you to keep me entertained as I watch you wallow in your misery!
Biohazard flashes a wry smile. Cairo frowns.
Bobby Cairo: Ha-ha, very funny.
Cairo sits quietly for a moment and ponders his life.
Bobby Cairo: Bio, you're right, man. Why the hell am I sitting around, crying like some emo f*g**t? I'm Bobby motherfucking Cairo! I put people in bodybags! It's not just my job, it's my goddamn passion! I hurt people and make money doing it! Remember when I was telling you about my machine the other morning? Dynamacism and all out war, all of that stuff? I need to have that mindset all the time. It might even land me a smoking hot girlfriend with ample breasts and a keen wit! Ooh, and an Irish accent? Yeah! Dammit, now I'm getting all horny and it's not even time to masturbate!
Biohazard: Think about Kodak film, Bobby. Just think about Kodak film, man.
Cairo shakes his head up and down and gestures his hands as if he's really trying hard to focus.
Bobby Cairo: Ok, it's going down...it's going down...it's gone. Thanks, man. I needed that.
Biohazard: No problem, bro. You know I'm always here for you.
Cairo finishes off the last beer and tosses the can into the ocean current.
Bobby Cairo: Listen, we better get out of here. If the cops catch us drunk and pissing everywhere, we'll never make the show tomorrow.
Biohazard taps fists with Cairo and carries him back to their rental V-Dub. Biohazard speeds away into the night with Def Leppard blasting through the stereo.
