Post by Bobby Cairo on Aug 15, 2007 2:01:20 GMT -5
Travers escaped like a rat from a maze, but he left behind clues. Cairo and Biohazard have utilized this information to orchestrate the perfect escape route. The Himalayas, a notable mountain range in Asia, contain underground tunnels. These tunnels were originally used by the Nazis during World War II, built by extraterrestrials to aid the war effort. Contrary to those dastardly intentions, Cairo and Biohazard will be using these tunnels to thwart authoritarian government oppression. Cairo and Biohazard hold in their hands the evidence necessary to place powerful men behind prison bars.
Bobby Cairo: I never thought it would come to this. They must have been out of their minds to think they could kill me. I'm Bobby fucking Cairo! I've carried these motherfuckers on my back! When I was World Champion in a rival promotion, to whom did I dedicate my championship reign? I dedicated it to those cocksuckers! How could I have known that the knife would shift into my spine? But they fucked up when they fucked with me! I've crushed empires from sea to shining sea!
Biohazard: What about Travers? He knows of the information that we have gathered. Will he not alert the Corporate Interests?
Bobby Cairo: Travers failed and so they will kill him. He will attempt to blend with the Argentineans, but his thinly veiled disguise will prove insufficient. Travers is a stooge. He fancies himself a cold, calculating genius, but 14 shots to the dome will end his resistance.
Unmarked government helicopters circle the disparate canyon searching for signs of life. Cairo and Biohazard scurry into the deepest crevice, each man carrying a shotgun for protection from demons and wolves. The midday sun of the desert paints a sharp contrast to the absolute darkness of the cave. Fortunately, Biohazard manages to find a lightswitch. This cave is not at all what it seems. Formerly this was an FBI Headquarters, designed to surveil staunchly anti-government militias in the surrounding districts of Arizona and New Mexico. Cairo and Biohazard realize that the agents are not far behind. Each man grabs a Gatorade from the cooler before slipping out the fire escape. This escape was built when several FBI personnel became addicted to Castro's cigars from a previous assignment. One such agent accidentally set his tie aflame while attempting to light a cigar. Rather than prohibiting smoking, the government instead decided to construct a multi-million dollar escape hatch. This act of grotesque overindulgence provides benefit for Cairo and Biohazard, as they slip out the back door and into the Tyler Perry lookalike's waiting Jeep Cherokee.
Bobby Cairo: Perfect timing, Mr. Perry. Yesterday with the Oldsmobile, today with the cheap. You must have some serious scratch.
Tyler Perry Lookalike: Poker paid for all of this, shon. Now shut ya mouth and nod ya head.
Hip-hop music blares over the stereo as the trio makes their escape from ill-equipped government choppers. Slipping across the Mexican border proves easier than eggs in a frying pan. Perry drops Cairo and Biohazard off in a border town before speeding off to the Tijuana gambling district. Cairo and Biohazard walk to a pub where order fajitas and Coronas, their first sustenance in days. The waitress is sexy, prompting Cairo to put the moves on her. His advances are resoundingly rejected by the Mexican cutie.
Biohazard: How do we handle things at Tribulation? We need to get down to the Sydney Opera House and participate in a wonderful pay-per-view extravaganza! We can't bail on the fans that are paying to see EPW vs. GWC! Or Vice vs. Blaze! Or the Thousand Thumbtacks Match! Or any of the other outstanding matches between world class athletes! Those fans are expecting to see perfectly acceptable wrestling in the opening match...and we have to deliver!
Bobby Cairo: I understand what you're saying, Bio. Although it is a risky proposition, I believe that we should carry forth with our scheduled match. After that we must expose the untruths and misinformation of a soulless, genocidal hierarchy.
Immediately after Cairo and Biohazard pay their check, the bar is surrounded by covert operatives. Cairo and Biohazard are handcuffed and forcibly hauled from the bar by large men in suits. The ringleader is a balding, fiftysomething white man. The man identifies himself as Agent Gearing, and instructs Cairo and Biohazard that they are being placed under arrest by the United States government. The charge is treason.
Bobby Cairo: You're so damn blind, Gearing! This is a set-up and you're nothing more than a pawn in their quest for global domination! These men have murdered millions and you're helping them!
Agent Gearing: I am under no obligation to indulge your massive ego, Mr. Cairo. You have been charged with a federal offense and you will have your day in court to spout your paranoid conspiracy theories.
Biohazard: What about Tribulation? We need to entertain the fans!
Agent Gearing: The president has granted the two of you a temporary work release. This will allow you to appear at Tribulation under the supervision of government agents. However, if you try any sneaky shit we will nail your asses to the cross!
The FBI agents escort Cairo and Biohazard to an unmarked black cargo van, placing them in the back of the van and slamming the doors shut behind them. Cairo and Biohazard sit in darkness, knowing not wait awaits them either outside or inside the squared circle.
Bobby Cairo: I never thought it would come to this. They must have been out of their minds to think they could kill me. I'm Bobby fucking Cairo! I've carried these motherfuckers on my back! When I was World Champion in a rival promotion, to whom did I dedicate my championship reign? I dedicated it to those cocksuckers! How could I have known that the knife would shift into my spine? But they fucked up when they fucked with me! I've crushed empires from sea to shining sea!
Biohazard: What about Travers? He knows of the information that we have gathered. Will he not alert the Corporate Interests?
Bobby Cairo: Travers failed and so they will kill him. He will attempt to blend with the Argentineans, but his thinly veiled disguise will prove insufficient. Travers is a stooge. He fancies himself a cold, calculating genius, but 14 shots to the dome will end his resistance.
Unmarked government helicopters circle the disparate canyon searching for signs of life. Cairo and Biohazard scurry into the deepest crevice, each man carrying a shotgun for protection from demons and wolves. The midday sun of the desert paints a sharp contrast to the absolute darkness of the cave. Fortunately, Biohazard manages to find a lightswitch. This cave is not at all what it seems. Formerly this was an FBI Headquarters, designed to surveil staunchly anti-government militias in the surrounding districts of Arizona and New Mexico. Cairo and Biohazard realize that the agents are not far behind. Each man grabs a Gatorade from the cooler before slipping out the fire escape. This escape was built when several FBI personnel became addicted to Castro's cigars from a previous assignment. One such agent accidentally set his tie aflame while attempting to light a cigar. Rather than prohibiting smoking, the government instead decided to construct a multi-million dollar escape hatch. This act of grotesque overindulgence provides benefit for Cairo and Biohazard, as they slip out the back door and into the Tyler Perry lookalike's waiting Jeep Cherokee.
Bobby Cairo: Perfect timing, Mr. Perry. Yesterday with the Oldsmobile, today with the cheap. You must have some serious scratch.
Tyler Perry Lookalike: Poker paid for all of this, shon. Now shut ya mouth and nod ya head.
Hip-hop music blares over the stereo as the trio makes their escape from ill-equipped government choppers. Slipping across the Mexican border proves easier than eggs in a frying pan. Perry drops Cairo and Biohazard off in a border town before speeding off to the Tijuana gambling district. Cairo and Biohazard walk to a pub where order fajitas and Coronas, their first sustenance in days. The waitress is sexy, prompting Cairo to put the moves on her. His advances are resoundingly rejected by the Mexican cutie.
Biohazard: How do we handle things at Tribulation? We need to get down to the Sydney Opera House and participate in a wonderful pay-per-view extravaganza! We can't bail on the fans that are paying to see EPW vs. GWC! Or Vice vs. Blaze! Or the Thousand Thumbtacks Match! Or any of the other outstanding matches between world class athletes! Those fans are expecting to see perfectly acceptable wrestling in the opening match...and we have to deliver!
Bobby Cairo: I understand what you're saying, Bio. Although it is a risky proposition, I believe that we should carry forth with our scheduled match. After that we must expose the untruths and misinformation of a soulless, genocidal hierarchy.
Immediately after Cairo and Biohazard pay their check, the bar is surrounded by covert operatives. Cairo and Biohazard are handcuffed and forcibly hauled from the bar by large men in suits. The ringleader is a balding, fiftysomething white man. The man identifies himself as Agent Gearing, and instructs Cairo and Biohazard that they are being placed under arrest by the United States government. The charge is treason.
Bobby Cairo: You're so damn blind, Gearing! This is a set-up and you're nothing more than a pawn in their quest for global domination! These men have murdered millions and you're helping them!
Agent Gearing: I am under no obligation to indulge your massive ego, Mr. Cairo. You have been charged with a federal offense and you will have your day in court to spout your paranoid conspiracy theories.
Biohazard: What about Tribulation? We need to entertain the fans!
Agent Gearing: The president has granted the two of you a temporary work release. This will allow you to appear at Tribulation under the supervision of government agents. However, if you try any sneaky shit we will nail your asses to the cross!
The FBI agents escort Cairo and Biohazard to an unmarked black cargo van, placing them in the back of the van and slamming the doors shut behind them. Cairo and Biohazard sit in darkness, knowing not wait awaits them either outside or inside the squared circle.
