Post by Kevin Hardaway on Aug 12, 2007 13:13:43 GMT -5
When you feel there's something wrong
I shelter you and keep you warm
I never let you walk alone
I loved you when you still hated me
Life's been worse for me lately....then again, life has been better for me as well. I'm kind of in the middle of everything right now where I don't care about what the hell happens with me. I like to call it "just here". Where your body is here, but your soul and personality isn't. Sure, it could cause problems if you don't control it but for the most part, you're so bored with yourself that you don't bother with it and move on. That's the way everything has been lately. You sit there in your hotel room, watching TV by your lonesome, hearing the sounds of people walking by these streets, waiting for that one second where the door opens and everything is fine the way it was. That's me for you right now. Sure, i'm not within the heads of Jack, David, Xavier, or Anthony right now...simply because i'm in my own little world right now. It's nice that Jack lets me into his family of people, he knows what it's like...he knows that this society is filled with bums and drunks and people who can't afford to care for their family when at night, he can afford to walk into the local porn shop for a little "relaxation". For me, this society is also filled with liars, cheaters, backstabbers, people who ruin their loved ones because the person down the street can go down on them better. It's that simple.
A week ago, I was in my bed sleeping peacefully, and right next me was my wife Angelina. Just a week ago, I was holding her tight, I was cuddled up to her peacefully. I can still hear her breath. And now...here I am, standing here in the streets of Sydney....alone, desperate, wanting. For the random guy or girl who have gone through this, they know my pain....no they don't. See for the random guy or girl that's gone through this...to ease their pain, they could just go into a bar and drink until it's closing time, they could snort lines off of a table to ease their pain, hell...they could scar their arms to ease the pain. To me, all of that...is taking the chicken shit way out. For someone to understand the shit that i've gone through, you need to go through it head on...without any comfort going your way. Those people that I mentioned are scum. They're scum because they don't wanna face the music. Well I do. I go through that dangerous road with my head on clear. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing. And believe me, after the hell that is that road, everybody will understand that there is no pain with yourself. It can take you a day, it could take you a week, take you a month, a year, 2 years, 4 years, 8 years, fuck it could take the rest of your life. Who knows.
That's why i'm straight edge. That's why you see the man that is standing here now. A man, but somewhat broken, somewhat cracked. I've been this way ever since I was 16. And the same thing happened. A few things were kind of different, but it's mostly the same situation. I'm in the relationship of my life with a girl that I thought was "the one" right from the start. And then all of a sudden, things changed and suddenly, i'm sitting there in my room alone. Next thing I know, she has a new girlfriend that she wants to show off to the world. Yes, I said it right...a girlfriend. She turned into a lesbian, possibly because of me. Possibly because she couldn't find another guy like me. It's that simple. I went into the worst depression anybody could think of, and one night, I snuck into my father's liquor cabinet and started drinking. I went out into the world, shitfaced drunk and you know what....the memories didn't go away, the pain didn't go away...it only got worse. I woke up the next morning, my head hurting like hell, and I was in a hell of alot of trouble. But nothing changed in my head. I thought to myself "why get like this, if nothing's gonna be better." So I stopped, and decided "If i'm going through this road, I need to do it head on." And everything seemed to coming out fine until last week.
I'm done talking about it, i'm done being "emo" for you. Pft, makes me sick actually to walk off and see these people. See these clowns walking around like they want everything that comes to them. They've taken a lifestyle and a way of life that actually means something to us and they've soiled it. They made it into a walking timebomb. They went out into the world and they made it into an MTV generation style trend that the 15 year old tween girls masturbate to every single night of the week. It's degrading, it's devauling. Do you think the world cares about people who want to be clean, who want to go through life without any problems, without any consequences? No...they don't. They think that we're the enemies here. Someone walks out into the street that's clean and gets into a scuffle with some drunk guys. Cops come, who are they gonna blame it on? Us. You're at a concert and a beautiful girl walks up to you, then sees a guy who's having fun with his friends hammered drunk. Who's she gonna fuck? Them. It's just not about the drunks, like I mentioned...it's about the whores, the sluts, the bitches too who would rather give a BJ to a plastered guy who ain't gonna remember any of it, instead of a guy who will remember it.
We're in a war. A war against not only this "Poisoned Society", but against the media that feeds it into their brains. That brainwashes people to go out there and have a Bud Light, to have a Marlboro, to go have sex with the nearest hooker. They are the hand that feeds them, and we're just plain sick and fucking tired of it. See it everywhere, on billboards, on TV, on walls in the streets. It's sickening. My god damn brother, got in trouble for drinking...underage drinking mind you, he got caught a couple times, and had to go to jail for 2 months. My very own father, smokes a pack a day outside. How do you think it feels to see that shit go down in MY family. I love them to death, but they're victims as well. You all are victims of this "poisoned society". And to all the victims out there, I hope you choke on your beer, I hope you realize that the girl you're fucking has an STD. We hope that you're fucked. Simple as that.
This Wednesday, at Tribulation...to Thunder, to Kid Alpha, to Brian Wolf, and to Creeping Death. God knows what the hell is up with you. We don't know if your victims or your against this society. The only thing that's going to matter is that you're against the system this Wednesday. Nothing is seen what can be done, guys. And at Tribulation...the revolution will be televised. Admit it.
All of a sudden, Kevin's cell phone goes off in his pocket. He gets it out and opens it up
Hello.......
He did what?
Well has anybody........
He asked me to do it, huh? Very well then.
Kevin closes his phone in anger, and gets ready to throw it into the Sydney Haurbor, but thinks twice...this is an expensive phone and he doesn't want to ruin his only chance out here for commiuncation.
Asshole. See, that's the problem. Jack's in jail...and instead of Vice paying for the bail to wire him out so he can wrestle at the PPV, he asked me to do it. Figures, with him. $50,000 out of my own paycheck to help a friend, instead of having the owner bail a member of his own roster out. Some fuckin' company.
I shelter you and keep you warm
I never let you walk alone
I loved you when you still hated me
Life's been worse for me lately....then again, life has been better for me as well. I'm kind of in the middle of everything right now where I don't care about what the hell happens with me. I like to call it "just here". Where your body is here, but your soul and personality isn't. Sure, it could cause problems if you don't control it but for the most part, you're so bored with yourself that you don't bother with it and move on. That's the way everything has been lately. You sit there in your hotel room, watching TV by your lonesome, hearing the sounds of people walking by these streets, waiting for that one second where the door opens and everything is fine the way it was. That's me for you right now. Sure, i'm not within the heads of Jack, David, Xavier, or Anthony right now...simply because i'm in my own little world right now. It's nice that Jack lets me into his family of people, he knows what it's like...he knows that this society is filled with bums and drunks and people who can't afford to care for their family when at night, he can afford to walk into the local porn shop for a little "relaxation". For me, this society is also filled with liars, cheaters, backstabbers, people who ruin their loved ones because the person down the street can go down on them better. It's that simple.
A week ago, I was in my bed sleeping peacefully, and right next me was my wife Angelina. Just a week ago, I was holding her tight, I was cuddled up to her peacefully. I can still hear her breath. And now...here I am, standing here in the streets of Sydney....alone, desperate, wanting. For the random guy or girl who have gone through this, they know my pain....no they don't. See for the random guy or girl that's gone through this...to ease their pain, they could just go into a bar and drink until it's closing time, they could snort lines off of a table to ease their pain, hell...they could scar their arms to ease the pain. To me, all of that...is taking the chicken shit way out. For someone to understand the shit that i've gone through, you need to go through it head on...without any comfort going your way. Those people that I mentioned are scum. They're scum because they don't wanna face the music. Well I do. I go through that dangerous road with my head on clear. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing. And believe me, after the hell that is that road, everybody will understand that there is no pain with yourself. It can take you a day, it could take you a week, take you a month, a year, 2 years, 4 years, 8 years, fuck it could take the rest of your life. Who knows.
That's why i'm straight edge. That's why you see the man that is standing here now. A man, but somewhat broken, somewhat cracked. I've been this way ever since I was 16. And the same thing happened. A few things were kind of different, but it's mostly the same situation. I'm in the relationship of my life with a girl that I thought was "the one" right from the start. And then all of a sudden, things changed and suddenly, i'm sitting there in my room alone. Next thing I know, she has a new girlfriend that she wants to show off to the world. Yes, I said it right...a girlfriend. She turned into a lesbian, possibly because of me. Possibly because she couldn't find another guy like me. It's that simple. I went into the worst depression anybody could think of, and one night, I snuck into my father's liquor cabinet and started drinking. I went out into the world, shitfaced drunk and you know what....the memories didn't go away, the pain didn't go away...it only got worse. I woke up the next morning, my head hurting like hell, and I was in a hell of alot of trouble. But nothing changed in my head. I thought to myself "why get like this, if nothing's gonna be better." So I stopped, and decided "If i'm going through this road, I need to do it head on." And everything seemed to coming out fine until last week.
I'm done talking about it, i'm done being "emo" for you. Pft, makes me sick actually to walk off and see these people. See these clowns walking around like they want everything that comes to them. They've taken a lifestyle and a way of life that actually means something to us and they've soiled it. They made it into a walking timebomb. They went out into the world and they made it into an MTV generation style trend that the 15 year old tween girls masturbate to every single night of the week. It's degrading, it's devauling. Do you think the world cares about people who want to be clean, who want to go through life without any problems, without any consequences? No...they don't. They think that we're the enemies here. Someone walks out into the street that's clean and gets into a scuffle with some drunk guys. Cops come, who are they gonna blame it on? Us. You're at a concert and a beautiful girl walks up to you, then sees a guy who's having fun with his friends hammered drunk. Who's she gonna fuck? Them. It's just not about the drunks, like I mentioned...it's about the whores, the sluts, the bitches too who would rather give a BJ to a plastered guy who ain't gonna remember any of it, instead of a guy who will remember it.
We're in a war. A war against not only this "Poisoned Society", but against the media that feeds it into their brains. That brainwashes people to go out there and have a Bud Light, to have a Marlboro, to go have sex with the nearest hooker. They are the hand that feeds them, and we're just plain sick and fucking tired of it. See it everywhere, on billboards, on TV, on walls in the streets. It's sickening. My god damn brother, got in trouble for drinking...underage drinking mind you, he got caught a couple times, and had to go to jail for 2 months. My very own father, smokes a pack a day outside. How do you think it feels to see that shit go down in MY family. I love them to death, but they're victims as well. You all are victims of this "poisoned society". And to all the victims out there, I hope you choke on your beer, I hope you realize that the girl you're fucking has an STD. We hope that you're fucked. Simple as that.
This Wednesday, at Tribulation...to Thunder, to Kid Alpha, to Brian Wolf, and to Creeping Death. God knows what the hell is up with you. We don't know if your victims or your against this society. The only thing that's going to matter is that you're against the system this Wednesday. Nothing is seen what can be done, guys. And at Tribulation...the revolution will be televised. Admit it.
All of a sudden, Kevin's cell phone goes off in his pocket. He gets it out and opens it up
Hello.......
He did what?
Well has anybody........
He asked me to do it, huh? Very well then.
Kevin closes his phone in anger, and gets ready to throw it into the Sydney Haurbor, but thinks twice...this is an expensive phone and he doesn't want to ruin his only chance out here for commiuncation.
Asshole. See, that's the problem. Jack's in jail...and instead of Vice paying for the bail to wire him out so he can wrestle at the PPV, he asked me to do it. Figures, with him. $50,000 out of my own paycheck to help a friend, instead of having the owner bail a member of his own roster out. Some fuckin' company.
